Yeah okay so technically it’s only the last two panels that are more or less real life canon. If you missed my tweets, here’s what happened: I was heading over to the house to get some lunch (my room is attached to the back of the shed, as you may have gathered from my hourlies), and when I tried to open the door, a juvenile brown snake came tumbling out. Cue scrambling to grab my dog and move safely away. It’s kind of hard to describe exactly where the snake was, but there’s this gap that the door slides into which overlaps with the door a bit, leaving a thin passage which the snake was apparently trying to climb up for some reason? Luckily this is fairly bizarre behaviour and not something I encounter regularly. Anyway, here are some Eastern Brown Snake Facts for you:

– Second deadliest land snake in the world, at least in terms of venom toxicity.

– The deadliest snake, the inland taipan, is fairly shy and lives in remote areas, whereas the brown snake is notoriously grumpy and lives in populated areas, so it is arguably the most dangerous snake in Australia (though others like the coastal taipan [third deadliest] and various tiger snakes and such also make a valid claim to this title). (Yes that’s right, the top three most venomous snakes in the world all live in Australia.)

– Venomous from birth.

– Hungers for human flesh.

After I had recovered from the initial surprise (and safely deposited my dog in the house) I was able to pin the snake down with a broom and then trap it under an empty flower pot. With that accomplished, I could safely go inside to grab a tank to capture it in properly. (Though at this point I should remind you that capturing wild snakes on your own is generally not a good idea, and is in fact one of the most common ways that people get bitten. But in this case, we have this stamped concrete around our house which the snake apparently found difficult to gain purchase on, so it was basically just flailing about as if on ice, which made it easier to pin down. We’ve had snakes here before, and normally we just call a professional to come and collect them, which is usually the best policy.)

We took the snake down to the RSPCA the next day, but not before getting a bunch of photos, a few of which I tweeted. So yeah, it was pretty exciting stuff!

Oh and okay, technically I didn’t actually die, so you might think the Machine Of Death is misplaced in this comic (oh and note also the references to this song, if you’re unfamiliar). But consider: our current understanding of quantum mechanics suggests that there are many alternate universes where I did die, so perhaps we are peering into one of those in the comic? And maybe some of those universes also possess… actual Machines Of Death?? #makesyouthink